Wisdom for the Road
Musings from my 20s and mid-30s (will be updated from late 30s to 40)
“Everything ain’t for everybody but I tried anyway.” ~ Jill Scott. During my 20s, I wanted to be like everyone else, wear what every one else was wearing and do what everybody else was doing. However, as I got older, I realized that everything wasn’t for everybody and that my path was sacred and exactly what I needed for me to grow. Everyone has a dish or a meal that’s their favorite that they love and they don’t have to explain to anyone else the reason why they like it, they just do. Turning 30 (almost 10 years ago), I’ve realized that just because everyone else is doing something doesn’t mean that I have to do it too and that’s okay. There is power that comes from turning your back to the crowd and doing what feels right to you because everything ain’t for everybody.
I am completely and utterly responsible for my life and the choices I make. Early on in my twenties, I felt as though sometimes life was unfair and didn’t understand why “bad” situations would happen. I would play the blame game. At 30 dern near 40, I’m in complete control of how I react to a certain situation and how it will affect my outlook on life. Bad things happen but the question is, how do you handle them?
It’s okay to be selfish. Sometimes people want you to do things that you may not necessarily want to do and it’s okay to gracefully bow out and without explanation. “No” can be a full sentence without being rude.
Guard your heart and guard your mind. I remember in law school, it was one of the most powerful lessons I learned that helped me stay sane during those years. Run from gossip, and fear mongering. Most of the things that are being discussed never happen but you’ve worked yourself up into a frenzy and stressed yourself out. Be mindful of the people you are around and what is being talked about. You literally have to protect your energy.
Allow life to surprise you. At one point, I didn’t think that I’d be living in Africa and running my own business but I let life surprise me and rolled with the flow instead of fighting against the current.
Dreams do come true but you have to believe that anything is possible and avoid naysayers like the plague.
Silence is golden. Take a moment to be quiet. You learn so much more by listening than talking. I’ve learned to listen, I LOVE to talk but I’ve learned so much about people and certain situation by being silent.
We’re all the same. I used to think that I was the only one who had gone through hard times in life until I started listening to people’s stories and I realized we all have the same desires, dreams and disappointments.
Be kind to everyone you meet. During my college days, a friend of mine used to post a status on her aim (if you’re old enough to remember AIM - AOL Instant Messenger) “ Be kind to everyone you meet for they are fighting a battle.”
I can always choose again. If I don’t like a situation or something in my life, I can take the steps to change it. In my twenties, I used to think that once I made a choice, I was stuck with it. Not so, there are other possibilities, you have to have the courage to try something new if you don’t like what you picked the first time around.
You have to be okay with it before anyone else will. Depending on how you feel about yourself, your career or the person you’ve decided to spend the rest of your life with. You have to believe with conviction that it’s the best thing since sliced bread. When you decide that you’re okay with the decisions pertaining to your life, others will fall in line. When you’re wishy washy then people will reflect that right back to you.
Tap in in the comments: What wisdom have you learned for the road? What would you tell your younger self?
